Violent Youth

Two high school varsity baseball coach friends and I stumbled the other night into a discussion about the realism inherent in video games available — and wildly popular — now, and the disturbing way in which this is divorcing teens from the physical reality of violent behaviour towards real human beings.

This study by the American Psychological Association found that

"students who reported playing more violent video games in junior and high school engaged in more aggressive behavior," said lead author Anderson, of Iowa State University.

The studies were conducted in 2000. Video game realism has increased exponentially since then.

Playing games like Grand Theft Auto (GTA), Vice City, and Sin City — which now has its own movie — is practically a rite of acceptance among male youth.

Homicide in Detroit – Echoes of Violence, an award-winning photo essay/series of articles by the Detroit Free Press, asks

"Why is this city killing itself? What has it done to the community’s soul? "

How badly are our youth becoming divorced from the real physical, mental, emotional consequences of their actions?

How much are parents contributing to this, by not imposing consequences on their teenagers for actions that violate the rights of others?

A Smack in Time…?

According to a new national survey of New Zealand parents, almost half the parental population of the country (49%) claims not to have used physical discipline on their children in the past three months. This is double the number (25%) who made the same claim twelve years ago.

If this trend continues, the Prime Minister of New Zealand, Helen Clark, will consider repealing section 59 of the Crimes Act, which allows parents to use "reasonable" force, "by way of correction towards the child".

I wonder what the percentage would have been in 1970, the year I was born.

My mother had a wooden spoon called George. Most of the time, George spent his days head down in a stew or cake mix. But, on those rare occasions when my recalcitrance and truculance pushed my mother beyond the limits of her forebearance (in other words: when I drove her around the bend), George was allowed to pull his head out of the pot and and whap it against my bottom instead.

Usually, of course, the mere threat of George was enough to send me cringing to the floor, whimpering that I’d stop whatever insanity-causing behaviour I was engaged in. For instances of mild disobedience, a smack to my bottom or a rap of something hard against my hand conveyed my parents’ (and my teachers’) displeasure.

My parents were hard-working, thrifty, generous, thoughtful of the needs of others, welcoming, self-disciplined, self-sufficient, unjudgemental and, above all, honourable. Through their actions, their words — and their discipline, they instilled within me the importance of living my life to their standards. Which I try to do, every day.

If I had been born in 2005 instead of 1970, upon the eve of the repeal of section 59 of the Crimes Act, my parents would be borderline criminals.

I don’t know whether a little smacking hurts a child. I don’t believe it hurt me. I have a good relationship with all of the wooden spoons in my life, with no lingering traumatic assocations.

And I have never as an adult had the desire to hit another person to hurt them.

What Has Changed?

A week ago last Friday, at around 3:45 in the afternoon, two high school baseball players I know (let’s call them Joe and Tom) were caught trying to buy alcohol at a liquor store a few blocks from the school. One of them purportedly had a fake ID.

That night, another player from the same team (I’ll call him Bill) was caught drinking alcohol in a stall in the boys’ bathroom at the school dance.

All three are in the 11th grade — juniors.

The boy who was caught drinking was suspended from school for three days and must sit out an automatic two-week suspension from organized school sports. His coach requires that he come to every practice and sit in the dugout during games in jeans and a team shirt as an example to others. The other two received no punishment from the school but were suspended for a game by the coach.

The weekend that it happened, Bill was alone at home; his parents were away as they are most weekends.

This weekend, Easter weekend and the start of spring break, Joe is in San Diego partying with friends. He was supposed to leave on Friday — school got out at 1 p.m. — and was mad when he found out that he had to wait another day because his team was playing a make-up of a rained out game at 3:30 Friday afternoon, and he had to be in the dugout, even though he wasn’t in the starting line-up.

None of the three received parental punishment.

In the mid-1990s, Felipe Lopez was dubbed by scouts the best high school basketball player in the country, and he had three crates of solicitation letters from college coaches to prove it.

In ‘Shoot the Moon’, a profile of Lopez, Susan Orlean describes the discipline he received for an infraction of his father’s rules.

"Once, Felipe’s father forbade him to go to a tournament because he had neglected to wash the dishes. This made Felipe cry, but in hindsight he is philosophical about it. ‘He was right,’ he says. ‘I didn’t do my dishes.’ "

Felipe didn’t do the dishes. Joe and Tom and Bill, who are all under the age of eighteen, were all caught with alcohol. The difference in the infractions and the difference in the consequences stuns and confuses me.